'tspin a long time....

Yes, it has indeed.....

quick post, then i must get back to my incessant sleep.

i hate being sick.
HATE it.
it is contrary to who i am. i am fast pace, social, adhd (self-diagnosed), and can't sit still for more than an hour. i love my friends because they are my family up here in santa cruz. i love my job because it's the most rewarding thing in my life. and i recently haven't been able to fully enjoy any of these things for about a month now because i've been SICK.

and i know this is going to sound dramatic, and i almost feel wrong comparing, but i get why people give up on prayer. yup, i get it. because when you pray for something long enough and people tell you to pray in faith, and then you do, and then nothing happens, it gets frustrating. and you really do start to wonder what you are doing wrong...why your prayers aren't working.
i wanted full energy this summer because i have had the craziest summer of my life. i have been out of the country, out at lakes, back in la, in weddings, bachelorette parties, in oregon....and it's not even august yet. so naturally, i would think God would answer my cries for healing, to continue to do HIS work this summer.
and so i prayed.
a lot.
consistently.
fervently.
aaaannnnnddd i'm still sick.

and i got bitter. i didn't fall out of love, but i got mad. real mad. and i cried a whole lot.

and up until yesterday i rolled my eyes when people said they were praying for me to get better, because to me id does nothing. God wants me to be sick, so why pray against it?

and then i was reminded by a little verse in 1 thess in my car, written by ME. oh how quickly we forget...
it says this "rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
that's it. it's a command. i am to rejoice, pray and give thanks in ALL circumstances.

so i pray. because God tells me to. because i trust that he tells us to do these things in any circumstance for a reason. so i give thanks, i rejoice, and i pray....joyfully.

i love my god.

forgive me if this isn't written the most eloquently, i am borderline alseep and didn't put much thought into this post. but only 4 of you read after all....and yes Lori Bradford, you are one of the fab four.

i love you all.

shalom.